Clients are much like relationships.. when you are ‘courting’ watch out for red flags!

Everything has a price…. And your mental health is one of those things.. or at least has a price cap!!

I am trying to figure out how this situation would differ being an owner of a business or an employee? I sure know the levels of toxicity from clients has been more apparent whilst owning a business for me. (Luckily it’s outweighed by amazing clients! But it’s still worth discussing!)

We all know some clients can be demanding, or abrupt, but there is a certain level at which we have to say ‘enough is enough’.

I am also trying to figure out if its just chance this has been mainly from male clients (seeing as most of my clients are male) or if there just more inflated testosterone from men… or anger which effects the way they might treat people.

The aim of this blog isn’t to be negative, rather to be positive about knowing your worth, and knowing that money just isn’t enough to warrant ‘taking a pounding’ mentally from clients.

There are a few main clients that spring to mind, one back in around 2014 and one only a couple of years ago..

In 2014 I had only just starting employing people really, I had a full team at that point, wages to be paid and lives to be ‘responsible’ for. It was in the days of RTA data (call centres calling out to help people claim for accidents), and for some reason because of the vast, very quick amounts of money being earned this meant there were a few ‘scoundrels gone straight’ in the industry who hadn’t been taught how to act in a ‘normal business’ manner, having a gung-ho approach to their suppliers.

We used to dread this client phoning us, we didn’t know if they would be really happy or shouting down the phone. (Much like a controlling relationship). Within our industry (lead generation) there are always ups and downs with the conversions, the key is dealing with the ups and downs and being ‘solution lead’. This client was generally unstable (I imagine emotionally now looking back on it) and would be so erratic about the way they would talk to us, it really felt like a cloud hanging over the office.

At the time, as a relatively new business it felt like we were trapped.. golden handcuffs so to speak! We needed (or thought we needed) this revenue and profit for our business so we just put up with this mild abuse.

Because their industry ended up discontinuing the client naturally stopped buying (and surprise surprise we didn’t need them).. as we are still here now thriving.

Fast forward to a few years ago, and I gained a client which was huge for my company, it almost doubled the turnover overnight! The profit margins were lower than other clients but because of the big turnover the profit was still really good. ‘This will take me to the next level’ I thought. Our yearly target will be absolutely obliterated and we will head towards that ‘big number’ we are aiming for.

I worked with this client for around 6 months before pulling the plug.. it was a hard pill to swallow but I am so happy I did.

Although the turnover was huge I had to understand that the profit could be made from clients who were much less demanding both from a timing and mental perspective.

On several occasions I was in meetings where I felt as if I could have starting crying, I was almost having panic attacks in the meetings to the point I was on the edge of getting up and just walking out. The contact who I dealt with generally on a day to day basis would go against anything I would suggest, so in the end I would say ‘that’s ok let’s just go with your idea’ and they would come back with ‘no, I want you to persuade me why I should go with yours, that’s your job, you’re the expert, come on, what kind of expert are you’. After hours of debating, they would generally then just agree with my strategy. This was so draining. I was on their side, but they had this kind of mistrusting attitude. It’s similar to a relationship, it was as if they had been ‘cheated on’ already and now thought everyone would do the same, or maybe they were the ‘cheats’ so to speak, and they tarnished everyone with their own brush.

Looking back at it now, the toxicity within this company came from the top, the pressure was fed down to the various heads of sections and each of them was stressed in their own way and that approach was then passed onto their suppliers.

I guess again, its like a parent treating a child in a certain way, they then think that’s how they should treat others too. The abusee became the abuser.

The toxic stress and bad management style was seeping down from the top and infecting everyone around them.. and now it was effecting me. I would wake up each morning with anxiety thinking ‘oh god what are these volatile clients going to be attacking me about today’ - it really was that bad.

The weird thing was, I clearly looked distressed in the meetings (red, almost crying) and the client just kept on hammering me as if it was normal. I have since found out it was ‘normal’ and that many employees there had been in the CEO’s office crying whilst being ‘told off’ as if that was normal.

My business partner is always really supportive. I am on the ‘front line’ so to speak, and he will always back whatever decision I make. I like to think, although I am pretty emotional, I am a strong person, but I couldn’t take any more and after talking it through with Trevor (AKA the big dawg) I let the client know I wouldn’t be working with them anymore and just completely cut ties. They were surprised of course, as they were spending huge amounts of money with me, but none of it was worth it.

This was a few year ago now and I don’t regret it at all. The company is now no longer trading which is no surprise! In fact now, as soon as I see a client heading the 'toxic' way, I will just cut them off. I want my staff to know that being polite is a standard that cannot be broken, and that works both ways.

Clients are much like relationships.. when you are ‘courting’ watch out for red flags, and nip them in the bud immediately! Don’t let the account grow unless the client is the right fit for you. Work with clients who value you. It’s the same for our clients… they should choose to work with us and their other suppliers because values align. It took a good few years for me to put this into practice but it’s here to stay! Morals over Money any day.